What Do I Do When I Feel Empty?

Empty

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Have you ever felt like no matter what you did something was missing? It's almost as if you were trying different things to fill the cup yet the water never gets to the level that is needed. You feel empty. I've been there. I've been there recently.

Pick Up The Cup

You can't figure out why your cup is empty so you decide to pick it up. You notice there's a hole and all the water is escaping. You may notice not just one crack but many. Now it's apparent why your cup never is able to keep the water inside. You have a choice -- throw away the cup or fix the cracks.

Image result for cracked glass

You think of the work that it would have to take to fix the cracks and use the cup again. You think to yourself, "I might as well just throw this thing away; it's not worth it." As you're about to throw the cup away, your older brother calls out, "What are you doing?!" You then say, "I'm throwing my cup away because it has cracks in it." "Don't do that, that's been yours your whole life. I will help you fix it!" You then start to remember how much this cup has done for you and as weird as it sounds, you have memories with it.

Your other brother then abruptly enters the door by the kitchen and asks, "What are you doing?" You respond by saying, "I'm thinking about throwing away my cup because it has cracks in it." Your older brother then interjects and says, "I'm going to help him fix it if he'll let me." Your other brother reacts by asserting that "Oh come on! It's not worth it, it'll be better without. I'll help you throw it away."

Can We Fix it?




After a lot of deliberation, you decide to let your older brother help you patch up the cup and use it again. He's had experience fixing cups before and although it will take some learning, he is willing to help you. You think to yourself, "How in the world is he going to help me fix these cracks; water will still get out." He explains the process then helps you do the following:

1. Apply non-toxic, clear epoxy to the crack. Use a cotton swab to work the material into the crack. Keep the epoxy in the crack, not off the sides of the crack, as this will just require more sanding in the next step. Wait overnight for the epoxy to dry

2. Dip the 800-grit wet/dry sandpaper in water and sand the crack with quick, short strokes. You only need to sand for a handful of strokes before moving on to the 900- and 1000-grit paper. The goal is to buff the crack quickly with a higher and higher grit. If the piece is older, you may want to sand the entire piece with the 1000-grit sandpaper after you have repaired the crack for a uniform appearance.

3. Apply a coat of silver polish to the entire glass with a clean cotton cloth. Let the polish sit for a couple of minutes before buffing with a clean cloth.

4. Allow your older brother to look it over and put his experienced touch on the cup.

5. Fill up the cup with water and see if any of it escapes.

The Test

You fill up the cup with some water and you notice it isn't leaking and with your older brother's expertise, it looks great! You quickly run over to him and say, "Look! It's not leaking! Thank you!" He looks at you while smiling and says, "I told you. I knew the cup could be what it is now with my help and experience. Besides, this isn't my first time." Your other brother then walks in the room and is disgusted. "That thing won't amount to much. It's going to crack again and again. You might as well throw it away." Your older brother then says, "You're probably right, but I'm here to help fix it."

The Analogy and Me 

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That cup represents my life or who I am. The person who owns the cup represents my agency -- there's always a choice. The cracks can represent a variety of things but for me they are sins, feelings of worthlessness, pride, weaknesses, selfish desires, etc. At times, like the cracks, I don't even know they are there and they are adding to the loss of water. 

Recently, I felt like that empty glass but I hadn't come to the conclusion that I had cracks and that's how the water was escaping. I was doing what I thought I should be doing. I was going to bed at a decent time, waking up early, exercising, reading my scriptures, praying, working, doing my school, etc. I still felt empty. What in the world was the cause? What was I doing wrong? 

I finally came to the realization of my cracks when I poured out to God in prayer. After getting up and while still pouring out my heart laying in bed, I said, "I don't know why I feel this way. Why do I? Please help me to know what I need to do, I'm willing to change what Thou wants me to change." I didn't like that feeling. I hated it. 

The following morning I went to the gym like I normally do and was listening to a podcast and this time around I was more in tune with listening for anything that may be an answer to prayer. The person being interviewed on the podcast mentioned a talk by Elder Richard G. Scott and it hit me that I should read that talk. 

So, I went home and found the talk and started to read looking for answers and I came upon these parts that were part of my answer: 


I will share one principle of truth which, if applied, can open the door to all the others you need to lift your spirit. It is a principle that will give you the power to make a difference in the quality of your own life
I speak of service -- self-sacrificing service to others in need. I know it is difficult to take the first step when your own heart aches for companionship or yearns for understanding. Yet such acts of service open to us the mercy and love of Jesus Christ, the Master. 
If you would be loved, love another. If you would be understood, show understanding to another. If you would find peace, harmony, and happiness, lift another. 
(Elder Richard G. Scott, The Power to Make a Difference, October 1983, G.C.)
He Giveth Liberally

Image result for feeding the 5,000

As you may have now guessed, your older brother (although I despise that term for Christ) represents Jesus Christ. Christ was helping me to see my cracks and He was guiding me to help fix them. What I have found is our Father in Heaven and Savior do not stop there. They give liberally! For example, in the feeding of the 5,000 in the New Testament they offer a measly two fish and five loaves of bread yet He multiplies them to feed 5,000 people while still giving a lot more than when they started (enough to fill twelve baskets full). He starts with what we have and as we exercise faith in Him, He giveth liberally! He wants to give much! He gives us the best.

Furthermore, the Lord kept giving me more. On another day, in another talk that I was directed to by President Henry B. Eyring he stated that "As you help children of God in their troubles, your own troubles will seem lighter. Your faith and your hope will be strengthened" (Try, Try, Try, October 2018, G.C.).

I was now starting to catch a theme -- el mandamiento numero dos. Yes, you translated correctly -- the second commandment, love my neighbor as myself. You see, although I was going through the motions, I was not fully committing to the second commandment and therefore the first which is to love God with all that I have. I was starting to see my cracks and knew I had some repenting to do and some re-committing.

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But, He didn't stop there. He has since guided me to Moroni 7-8 and becoming like the Savior. Though I could give paragraphs on what I learned, I will save you the time and read one line in one verse: "...which love endureth by diligence unto prayer" (Moroni 8:26). That's it. The Lord not only taught me that I need to seek to become more like Him through serving others but also how to keep the cracks smaller and fewer. He has been teaching me that the key to being like Him and emulating His pure love is to be diligent to pray. This goes in line with Moroni's earlier words in Moroni 7:48, "pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love."

This will ultimately help lead me to become like Him and see Him as He is. He then added to it by impressing this quote that I heard this morning upon me: "Pray to be the answer to someone else's prayer today." I don't think He will stop with this theme. He will keep teaching me because He is compassionate. Although Christ had to drink the bitter cup, He did it so that my cup wouldn't have to be bitter. He did it so my cup could be clean and fixed.

Satan (my other brother) tries all he can to make me feel worthless or that I'm not amounting to much. I've never felt to throw my cup away, but I know some people get to that point. He wants us miserable. He wants us to feel empty and despite that fact, Christ is willing and ready to fill us with His living water that will cause no man to thirst. As I do not thirst and allow Christ to fix me, I am the best dusband I can be. Ultimately, this music video sums it all up for me -- her words are mine.







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