Am I Listening?

I am the first to admit that I'm not the best listener. As my wife reads this she is probably nodding her head in approval to that first statement. I think I struggle at times to sincerely listen with the intent to understand rather than be understood. Why? Because I'm a fixer. I want to fix things; mend what's broken; calm the troubled seas; be a hero. Obviously, that's common with the male gender -- we fix. Unfortunately, it is not generally seen as manly or macho to listen to understand. 

When I have shown the video above to some people that I've taught, male students quickly asserted that fixing is listening: "When you are fixing you are taking away the problem and that's listening!" Further, they boldly declared,"You are helping them!" On the other hand, the majority of the female pupils disagreed and said things such as, "That's not listening!" and "It's about how they feel, not how to fix." We quickly came to the conclusion that being heard always leads to positive outcomes especially in building a relationship. Not once have I felt burdened or meaningless in times that I was sincerely heard. 

One of the best listeners that I have seen in my life is my mother. I always walk away from conversations with her feeling unburdened and meaningful. I've asked myself why many times. One theory could be that females simply listen better. Indiana University School of Medicine completed a study that found that females use both sides of the brain to listen compared to men with one. Although this is the case, one of the gaps in the study discovered there was no finding that supported that the female gender is better at listening. 

Present

So, what makes her a great listener? She's present. No, I'm not saying she's watching the game out of the corner of her eye or that she's texting or scanning through social media while I'm talking. She's there. 

The Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which [God] has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered. (C.S. Lewis)

We are only given the present once. Yes, that present moment happens once, and then it turns into the past. We can't go back and change it. God is a being of presence. Not only would we be moved to be in his presence but because we know He's completely there. It's interesting to me that one of the titles Jesus Christ gives himself is the Great I Am (D&C 29:1). Notice He didn't say, the Great I Was or the Great I Will Be. He is here and now. He also stated that "all things are present before mine eyes" (D&C 38:2).

This has caused me to pause and reflect on a few questions: Have I ever felt like I wasn't heard when speaking to God? Have I ever felt like God was too busy doing other things? Have I ever felt like I was forgotten by Him? 

Admittedly,  I have had times in my life where I felt like I wasn't receiving answers to prayer or been confused with certain questions I've had. At times I have wondered if He truly can be present with me amidst all of His creations and children. For example, how could an all-powerful God be present with a speck of dust concerning all of the creations that exist? 

Heavenly Father himself stated, "worlds without number have I created...and by the Son I created them" (Moses 1:33). He later joined that previous statement by saying the following: 

For behold, there are many worlds that have passed away by the word of my power. And there are many that now stand, and innumerable are they unto man; but all things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them. (Moses 1:35, emphasis added) 

Add to that this picture: 

This is a deep field shot by the Hubble Telescope in 2012. According to NASA, there are over 3,000 galaxies in this one field of view. Now, within a galaxy are billions of stars and multiple solar systems. We are part of the Milky Way galaxy and our solar system and planet are on the outer edge of the galaxy. What if I were to tell you that if you held your arm out with a pin in hand that the shot size taken by the Hubble Telescope (photo above) was the size of that pinhead you were holding up? Indeed, there is much out there that is incomprehensible. 

Therefore, among all of these creations and more of God's spirit children that inhabit these worlds without number that have been created, how could He be present with me? How? Through His Son. 

His Son

We've heard the common phrase that prayer is the gateway to heaven and ultimately to our Father, but I would say Christ is the gateway to heaven and ultimately to our Father. In the book of John (14:6), the Savior mentioned that "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." Furthermore, Christ said that "All ​​​things​ are delivered unto me of my Father: and no man knoweth the Son, but the Father; neither ​​​knoweth​ any man the Father, save the Son, ​​​and​ ​he​ to whomsoever the Son will ​​​reveal​ ​him" (Matthew 11:27). 

Looking deeper at prayer, we can clearly see the importance of Jesus Christ in being heard and feeling His presence. One of my favorite entries in the Bible Dictionary is on prayer:

As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

We pray in Christ’s name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ—when His words abide in us (John 15:7). We then ask for things God can grant. Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ’s name at all; they in no way represent His mind but spring out of the selfishness of man’s heart.

Compassion

The interesting thing is Christ listens completely to us then pleads for our cause before the Father. He is our Advocate. He understands us completely in the flesh; in the present moment. Not only do we have a Father who understands us completely as His spirit children but a Son who adds to that understanding through His Atonement. I look at the example in 3 Nephi 17 as an example of these things. 

Christ had an appointment set by His Father to visit more of Heavenly Father's children elsewhere but perceived the needs of the people He was present with. He put off an appointment of great importance because the future wasn't His concern, it was the present. They desired that he tarried with them a bit longer. He was moved by compassion towards them and the problems needing to be solved elsewhere were placed on hold. 

Just as the people whom He just taught so powerfully needed some problems solved (3 Nephi 11:22), the lost tribes mentioned probably needed Him in the future to do the same. The amazing thing was that He stood still. He allowed Himself to suffer with them. The people that He knew completely were before Him. It wasn't long before that He had suffered immense pain for each one in the Garden and on Calvary. 

Compassion literally means to suffer with. Therefore, how can you truly suffer with someone if you don't listen to them? Listening doesn't always come with talking either. He perceived through their present feelings with a connection unimaginable to us and tarried with them. He listened with His heart and felt theirs. 

Listening Heart

I find it interesting that Jesus Christ not only felt compassion that led to miraculous healings but those present as well. Christ invited the people to bring forth those that needed His healing. You have individuals in 3 Nephi 17:9 that went forth "with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner." 

How did they know they needed help? Yes, some of them could have had obvious physical impairments, but there were surely others that were "afflicted in any manner." Maybe there were those that were grieving because of a lost loved one or suffering in silence because of depression or anxiety. Whatever the case, the people knew and brought them to the Savior's feet. How could they have known? I believe it was through compassion. I believe this comes in large part from a listening heart. This is difficult because it takes placing your agenda last and putting a person first. 

Listening Heals

Jesus Christ continually did just that. He always placed others first. He saw them deeply and it led to healing and wholeness.

Understanding how God sees us prepares the way to help us see others as He does. Columnist David Brooks said: “Many of our society’s great problems flow from people not feeling seen and known. … [There is a] core … trait that we all have to get … better at[, and that] is the trait of seeing each other deeply and being deeply seen.”

Jesus Christ sees people deeply. He sees individuals, their needs, and who they can become. Where others saw fishermen, sinners, or publicans, Jesus saw disciples; where others saw a man possessed by devils, Jesus looked past the outward distress, acknowledged the man, and healed him. (Michelle Craig)

I've felt afflicted in my life in many instances. I needed someone to suffer with me and see me deeply; to be heard and understood. As I have reached out to the Father through the Lord Jesus Christ and been completely present, I have felt the Lord strengthen me and even take away my sins. I was seen. I was made whole.  

What I Know

There's a lot I don't know. I am not a great listener. I fall short. Although this is true, there's one sure thing that I do know and that is Jesus Christ lives. I know He listens completely and is completely present with me when I'm willing to be there. There is nothing quite like His presence and power as the people in Jerusalem and the Americas experienced firsthand. 

I often think if I was with those people when Christ appeared. I imagine Him fastening His eyes on me. It would be just He and I at that moment. I would be overcome by the overwhelming love and presence that He can only offer through His presence. Time would seemingly stop and that present moment would be all that mattered. I would know that I was seen. I would know that I was His. I would know that He's mine.