Am I Sleeping?

 Storms

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about storms. The simple definition of a storm is as follows: 

I remember as a teenager going fishing at Piute Reservoir with my dad and brother. We had heard that the fishing was excellent at the time so we made a trip out of it. In our first stint on the lake, we caught some nice-sized fish. When we went back out, it was another story. The reservoir went from relatively calm to scary in a matter of minutes. 

The wind started to pick up quickly and could feel the waves crashing into and rocking our boat. Because we were in a smaller fishing boat, we didn't possess the confidence that is afforded with a giant rig that is harder to tip. The skies were dark and it seemed like the boat wasn't moving. The captain of the boat was my dad, and I could tell he was getting anxious. Because he was anxious, it caused me to be more anxious. I began to rehearse some questions in my mind: Would we need to be rescued? What do I do if this boat capsizes? What do I do if something happens to my dad or brother? Why didn't we stay in? 

As we continued to rock and the waves battered the boat unceasingly, we were finally able to make it to the dock. It seemed as if it took an eternity to get there, but we arrived safely. My adrenaline was pumping as could be felt in the shaking of my arms and legs and was more grateful than ever to be back on shore. 

In El Salvador where I served my mission, there were times when the storms came and the streets were covered in water in no time. I remember when my companion and I ran to our house during one of those storms, and we were drenched from head to toe. A powerful storm is something that you don't forget, especially if it causes you uneasiness, uncertainty, and discomfort. 

Asleep

I am reminded of a story in the New Testament when Jesus was asleep in the boat during a dominant storm. The apostles/disciples with Him were worried as "the ship was covered with the waves" (Matt. 8:24). This could have possibly been one of the most powerful storms they've experienced. Why? Many of these apostles were seasoned fishermen who had surely been through storms of varying degrees. This was not their first rodeo. 

In fact, Jesus allowed them to guide the boat while He rested. I think this speaks to the confidence and trust He had in them. Would I be able to rest with confidence if my son or daughter was steering the boat? No way! The difference being these men knew what they were doing and had experience. Even then, they awoke the Savior because they felt they had exhausted all their expertise and said, "Lord, save us: we perish" (Matt. 8:25). In my mind, this speaks to the mighty storm they were facing, perhaps the mightiest they'd experienced. 

One important detail: Christ was asleep. 

This isn't the first time in the scriptures that we can see someone overcome by sleep. Interestingly, some of the same apostles that were with Christ in that boat that day were chosen to tarry with the Savior and watch as He faced the most dynamic storm in His life to that point. No prior experience could fully prepare Him for what was about to come to pass. We understand that this was part of the infinite and all-encompassing suffering of Jehovah that was also intensified on the cross. A God, chosen from the beginning to redeem mankind. He knew His mission and was being prepared from the beginning for the mightiest storm, yet, even He cried out "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me" (Matt. 26:39).

Consider this from His perspective: Premortally, He was Jehovah, God of the Old Testament. Under the direction of His Father, He was the Creator of this and other worlds. He chose to submit to the will of His Father and do something for all of God’s children that no one else could do! Condescending to come to earth as the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh, He was brutally reviled, mocked, spit upon, and scourged. In the Garden of Gethsemane, our Savior took upon Himself every pain, every sin, and all of the anguish and suffering ever experienced by you and me and by everyone who has ever lived or will ever live. Under the weight of that excruciating burden, He bled from every pore. All of this suffering was intensified as He was cruelly crucified on Calvary’s cross. 

--Russell M. Nelson

 Despite this incredible storm, He was alone. His apostles that He had chosen were asleep. After attempting to wake them once, He left them. Maybe what happened on that boat was more impactful than what we realize. Yes, Jesus rebuked the winds and there was a great calm. Yes, Jesus Christ needed sleep like all of us do. Yes, Jesus has all power. We could go on with countless principles and truths about the Son of God. However, what if one of the truths He was trying to convey to his disciples was about the most important storm that was going to hit?

 How does it feel to be alone when the greatest storm you've experienced has hit? 

 Jesus Christ had to suffer immensely while feeling alone. Maybe He was helping Peter, James, and John specifically to understand the Atonement that He would effectuate. Feeling alone is not a good feeling. When there are storms that cause uneasiness, uncertainty, and discomfort it is even harder going about it alone. It is fascinating to me that even in times when we feel those things--especially when it challenges our prior experiences--that there is always Someone still in the boat with us. He is peaceful, calm, and confident -- in a state of rest. 

Because Jesus Christ went through the greatest storm of all, He provided His disciples with the opportunity to rest. Sometimes storms can't be overcome despite all of our prior experience and preparation. We need Him. We need to call upon Him to rebuke the winds that come our way and allow Him to provide peace. All the while, He provides us with experiences that point us to Him even when it might not seem like it.

I lack a lot of experience as a husband and dad. I have had times where I felt like I was in a powerful storm, where anxiety and stress came; similar to what I felt on Piute Reservoir. What I didn't mention is that during that storm I was praying to God to have help through the storm. I believe it isn't by coincidence that we arrived safely. I believe it is through the grace and merits of Jesus Christ that storms can be calmed. I also believe it is through Him that we can endure the storms that are necessary to help us become more like Him and prepare us for future experiences.